Life Coach Hypnotherapist Aromatherapist
I was there too.
You've planned, prepared, and counted days. Maybe you tried, tried again, tried with extra help, and prayed. Finally you found out you're pregnant! You’re elated and your heart is so full but as quickly as the good feelings come the worries are close behind.
The fierce momma bear is already on full alert which means the voices in your head have new lines to feed you. Now fear is around every corner, am I doing the right things. Harm is wondering about your weight - if you should eat this or not. Hurt is hearing people say judgemental comments and allowing them to replay in your mind feeding that wild momma bear.
The unknown is weighing you down and creating stress around the most magical time in your Mother Goddess life.
A mother’s first instinct is to protect.
I help pregnant women full of hopes and fears make it through 40+ weeks of being the vessel for the most important cargo - their growing baby. The fear of not knowing if you’re strong enough to make it through labor and delivery is overwhelming. The pressure to always do the right thing is immense. I teach moms how to call on their Mother Goddess within, tune into their body and prepare for birth on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level.
We are influenced by life experiences and they in turn shape us into the people we are today. I am going to give you a peek into my own experience. On the emotional scale life events can range from happy to traumatic and everything in between. As an adult you can look back and discover pivotal moments in your personal history that define you. I am going to go way back to my infancy and tell you how I came to be me, a woman who helps other women.
I was born in an orphanage in the Philippines at the tail end of the Vietnam war. I was lucky enough to be adopted by an American family and currently live in the state of New York by way of Florida and Maryland. I have 4 adopted brothers that I love and together we have two amazing parents.
I went to elementary school, a private high school, and graduated from a four year college. I landed my first job six months after college and moved up the ladder of success with each subsequent job. I got married and had two kids. We lived in a traditional home with 2 dogs and 2 cats and we had the fenced yard to go along with the package.
I followed the “American Dream” plan and checked off all the boxes. I even signed up for the “Super mom” package that included things such as volunteer for school, the community, and church. There wasn’t an option for the “Connection” package so I doubled down on the plans I had - to fill my time.
Being alone as an infant.
I had a deep seated need to be a part of the group, to belong to something bigger than myself. After all, I began life as an orphan. In the dictionary an orphan is described as a child whose parents are dead. Neither of my biological parents were dead and yet I was given up as an infant. My adopted parents told me how my biological mother was young and poor. They explained how the nun at the orphanage convinced her to release me through a legal adoption and how much better my life would be in America.
At 1 ½ years old my new parents took me home and loved and protected me fiercely. They added on new adopted brothers and our family grew. We were very close and talked about everything.
Everything except adoption. It came to the point where it was obvious that any mention of adoption had always made my mom very upset. She offered access to my adoption papers if I ever wanted to know more about my biological parents but it came at a cost.
Whenever she said this she was highly emotional and tearful, in other words, “if you wanted to know more about your origins you would be breaking my heart because I know you were alone and I wasn’t there for you.” At least that’s how I understood it to mean growing up and all the way into adulthood. I never asked for clarity. I was always left to wonder and fill in the blanks.
A child of my own.
I remember finding out I was pregnant and it was such a relief. After a few months of disappointments there it was... the plus on the pregnancy test! And that’s when it all started, the worries, the fears, the expectations and the long list of things I made for myself to check off. After all, I was born in an orphanage and missed the most important bonding experience that every child should have. I needed to right that injustice—no pressure at all.
Keeping with tradition my “American Dream” had to be perfect. I bought the books and read them like they were gospel. I went to my appointments, they were all on schedule and all goals were reached. My husband looked at bedding choices and told me I looked beautiful every chance he could.
But I was constantly worried.
I judged myself against the very books that were supposed to guide me. I questioned everything that went into my mouth or didn’t. Was I getting enough exercise? Would I ever lose this weight? Why for the love of God does coffee smell so horrible? Eventually I told my husband that he was banned from drinking it in the house. Considering he couldn’t put on socks correctly without a cup of coffee it’s a small miracle that he made it to work everyday.
But it was the fear...
The absolute terror of the pain associated with labor that had my anxiety level soaring through the roof. I have zero tolerance for pain. Here I am, a baby growing by the day, bigger and bigger. The charts make it seem so fun - today your baby is the size of a: kidney bean, grape, pea pod, an avocado...a mango, swiss chard (really?), a watermelon and then of course a pumpkin that turns into an actual baby.
I made judgements about delivery based solely on my fear of pain. I looked for medical ways to dull the pain - just to have the information in the back of my mind...just in case I couldn’t do it. I had nothing else to look up or turn to. There was no other choice for me. I didn’t grow up where alternatives would even be considered a possibility.
We have to go now.
I woke up around 10pm on January 4th 2000 and told my husband to grab the hospital bag. Our medical center was 30 minutes away. My husband hit every single pothole on the way there. They were unavoidable; it was the middle of winter in upstate NY after all. He apologized every time. I don’t know who I felt worse for - me or my husband.
The pain I was feeling by the time we made it to the hospital was like nothing I had ever felt. That was before the first contraction hit. Oh and that first contraction...I felt like a semi truck just ran over me. No, oh no, just no. I couldn’t. I can’t. All the planning, all the worrying...all for nothing, it’s all gone down the drain. The next contraction came sooner and stronger than the last. I felt devastated and had to ask for an epidural. 18 hours later our daughter was born.
Failures, compromises, and a miracle.
Looking back now, knowing what I know, I wonder if I had to put myself through all that stress and anxiety of striving to have a perfect pregnancy and storybook birth. Why did I feel the need to compete with an over-edited how-to book written by a man? Why did I feel like I had to conform to others’ expectations? Had I started our daughter’s life out with my first failure as a mom?
Yet...there she was, this tiny little being in the first moment of no longer being a physical part of me. So perfectly ours.
There has to be another way.
You don’t have to give up control. You don’t have to live in fear for months. But I didn’t know this until I began my own search for understanding. I didn’t have Google to do my own research. I couldn’t look up a hashtag on instagram to see beautiful pictures of all the ways babies can come into the world.
Take a deep relaxing breath and dive in.
You might think of hypnosis as a way to quit a bad habit such as smoking, nail biting, or weight loss and yes you absolutely can do all of that with hypnosis. But what if you used hypnosis to stop worrying, quit putting yourself down, or finally end that loop of fear. Let me rephrase that, hypnosis will help you reach deep inside to give you strength to go through labor and birth, fulfill your needs emotionally, recharge your soul and become the Mother Goddess that lives within.
You are in a stage of transition.
Becoming a mom doesn’t start when the baby arrives in your arms. It begins when you know you are carrying the next generation. We measure the growth of the baby but I’d like to turn the attention on you - and the mother you are becoming. When you can get past guilt, judgement, worry, and fear you find that your heart is bigger, lighter, and happier; your body is capable; your soul is fulfilled. I want this for you.
Today I help women choose the path that leads to strength in knowing you can do miracles - bringing a baby into the world.
I help moms figure out how to say no to thoughts that deplete them and yes to the Mother Goddess. When my clients discover that putting themselves in a place of empowerment their fears dissipate. I reveal the body’s hidden potential to metamorph into a welcome home for the growing baby and how to harness its power during labor and birth.
In 3, 2, and 1...
I don’t know what your story will reveal but I can absolutely guarantee that you will come away with a new understanding of yourself, your hopes, dreams, and desires. You will be able to live lighter and breathe fuller throughout your pregnancy and beyond.
It’s time to stop worrying and fretting about things that don’t fulfill your birth story. Access is as easy as relaxing and listening to my voice as I take you deep within yourself...where the answers lay. As much as I want this for you, YOU need to choose it for yourself and your baby. I want you to know that you are not alone and that I will be here to support you through our time together. It’s time you met your Mother Goddess. Strength is waiting for you and so am I.
Let’s Get Started
Women that take care of themselves throughout pregnancy are happier, calmer, more fulfilled, and energized and it reflects back to you through your new baby.
To connect simply head to my work with me
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